Me: [blowing my nose into the bedsheet] It's a good thing I have this big handkerchief here! This would've been a big mess otherwise.
Me: You idiot, that's not a handkerchief, that's a bedsheet.
Me: [sheepish] Well, at least it won't get all over everything now . . .
Me: You idiot!! Blowing your nose in a bedsheet means IT'S ALL OVER EVERYTHING